Please enjoy this guest blogger and contact her if you would like her coaching services.
The cardinal stood straight and tall. His beak pointed to the blue sky. He sang a morning song for us. Suddenly with speed and grace he flew to the birdfeeder. God’s brilliant color of red stood as close as possible next to his female counterpart. He secured seed in his beak and then began to feed her. He fed her beak to beak.
My husband and I enjoyed this moment of God’s beauty displayed to us as we drank our morning coffee on our patio. I thought, ‘this is good’. I was sitting with a man who is my best friend and the love of my life. We were drinking in the moment together.
However, I must admit there are times I have missed beautiful moments due to my own distracting thoughts. God has continued to transform my heart so I can enjoy his love and beauty in my marriage. God loves us so very much and desires for us to give and receive his beautiful love in our marriage relationships. So, why don’t we? What holds us back? How can we experience more beautiful moments?
We need to be comfortable in our own skin. I have lived long enough now to see culture dictate many different images of beauty to us. Hour glass figures, twiggy bodies, long legs, large bust lines, skinny lips, full lips, porcelain skin, tanned skin, short painted nails, long curved nails, French manicures, curly hair, straight hair, thick eyebrows, thin eyebrows… There is no end to what is dictated to us as personal beauty in our society. As you are reading this blog more images are being produced to entice and leave us feeling “less than”. Feeling “less than” can lead us to one of two reactions. We try many different “beauty secrets” and are never satisfied. This reaction might lead many women to drastic physical changes. Another reaction is to give up on self care totally. We may feel like we are not worth the time of a little pampering.
We must allow God to stop the image madness in our minds and hearts. We must replace dictated beauty images by embracing our beautiful image. God created each one of us in his image. We are a reflection of his glory and beauty. He does not desire for you or I to look like someone else. YOU are his beautiful creation. This truth must become a part of your and my inner most being. This truth enables us to enjoy living in the beauty of marriage and expressing our own personal beauty. I encourage my clients to take some time and embrace their beauty by listing all their lovely qualities from the inside - out. A healthy confidence allows our unique inner and outer beauty to shine in our marriage relationship.
Remember your spouse is created in God’s image. He has his own unique gifts, talents, and needs. Your unique beauty was made to encourage his gifts and talents. Your beauty was formed by God to meet his unique needs.
Express your beauty. As women we have the honor to express God’s beauty in our own unique manner in our marriage. Take some time to consider how expressing your unique beauty would show love to your husband.
v Express your beauty in your surroundings. One woman might like to place a china plate full of fresh baked cookies on her husband’s desk. A table set with a mason jar full of daisies and your husband’s favorite deli sandwiches is easy and simply beautiful! How do you express your beauty in your surroundings?
v Express your beauty with your appearance. Take a little time to look appealing and pleasing to your spouse. Wear colors and clothing that compliment beautiful you. Listen to your spouse. Notice when he compliments you the most. Is it when you wear certain colors or styles? Perhaps he thinks certain colors bring out your eyes. Maybe he likes the way your hair softly lays on your shoulders. Wear your hair in a style he likes and is flattering to your face shape. Ask him what he likes about your appearance. Listen to him and BELIEVE him! Wear fragrances that are appealing to your spouse. Also remember that wherever we go we are a reflection of God’s image. We are also are a representation of our marriage. Express your beauty in your appearance.
v Express your beauty with your spoken and written words. A fun loving woman might leave humorous love notes in unexpected places for her husband. She has studied her man and knows what makes him laugh.
My husband is a pastor and musician whose love language is Words of Affirmation. On Sunday afternoon I have said, “Great message today honey! I liked the song you sang at the end of the service.” His response has been, “thanks”. I was sincere in my compliment and he was honest in his response of, “thanks”. My beauty through words was not expressed. My husband’s need for affirmation was not fully met either. When I have expressed how the message moved me to action, his face lights up. We then engage in deep and meaningful conversation. I have affirmed his unique teaching gift. I have learned the difference between casual compliments and affirming words. Casual complements give brief moments of encouragement. Affirming words breathe lasting life into my man.
Your husband may respond to a different love language than mine. Even so, expressing your beauty with spoken and written words is an expression of God’s image. Love notes, texts, phone calls, cards, and poems are some of the methods of expressing your beauty to your husband. Another is to engage him in conversation. Ask him questions about certain topics. Listen to his opinions. Learn about his interests.
My husband and I don’t have a perfect marriage. However, we have a really good one. God has transformed our hearts. We are less preoccupied with busy schedules and selfish needs. We understand his truth about our images. We also grasp to a deeper level God’s great love for us. God knows where every bird is and provides for each one. Yet, he cares even more about us! We are relaxed, secure, and comfortable. Living in the moment and embracing God’s beauty with a couple of cardinals is the norm for us now.
Life Purpose Coach/Image Consultant
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.