To the observer, the Phlegmatic is extremely slow-paced and stubborn.
The Phlegmatic goes through life doing as little as possible, quietly, and expending little energy. It is not clear whether the Phlegmatic has very little energy, or it is because they refuse to use what little energy they do have.
They are task oriented with a great capacity for work that requires precision and accuracy and expends a minimal amount of energy. Only sleep can regenerate a Phlegmatic.
The world may never know all the brilliant thoughts, great books, spectacular works of art, or wonderful ministries that have been buried with the Phlegmatic. They seldom, if ever, use these ideas and talents because it would require expending to much energy and effort, to put these ideas into action.
The Phlegmatic sits back and watches other temperaments busy doing things wrongly and looking at all the things in the world that need to be changed. Identifying the injustice is not difficult for the Phlegmatic in Inclusion; however, they will seldom, if ever, initiate action against injustice. They will try to inspire others to do something, but are not likely to personally get involved themselves.
The Phlegmatic is the only temperament the Choleric is unable to control (which frustrates the Choleric tremendously). The Phlegmatic is the most stable temperament. The Phlegmatic is the most stubborn of all the temperaments when it comes to making changes. Because of their tendency to not be involvement, they are natural negotiators and diplomats. “Peace at all costs” is their motto.
The Phlegmatic has no fear of rejection and can handle unaffectionate and hostile people. They are calm, easygoing people who are not plagued with the emotional outbursts, exaggerated feelings, anger, bitterness or unforgiveness as are other temperaments. They are observers who do not get involved nor expend much energy. Their cool, complacent attitude can hurt people that love them. The way they observe can cause them to never give of themselves and, therefore, never receive either.
All temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. I will teach you how to turn your weakness into a strength!
This temperament is identified as the most powerful (and destructive) of the temperaments. It is not unreasonable to state that the world’s greatest feared dictators and diabolical criminals were perhaps Choleric. However, when this person truly comes to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, and uses their strengths for the glory of God they make some of the greatest leaders in Christianity. The Apostle Paul was in leaders' opinion a Choleric. Prior to his conversion on the Damascus Road Paul used his temperament strengths to advance the cause of Judaism, self interest and terrorizing Christians. After Paul’s salvation he soon became the Apostle to the Gentiles.
Paul’s example demonstrates that a person’s spiritual rebirth does not change their temperament. The individual is transformed in the sense of their temperament strengths being used for a different purpose as they feast on the Word of God and grow as a new creation in Christ. The Choleric remains a Choleric before and after their conversion / salvation experience.
Cholerics are extremely tough-willed. When they have made up their minds they rarely if ever change it, even if they are wrong. Cholerics will seldom listen to the advice of anyone else. They want to have total control over themselves and anyone around them. Cholerics are of the opinion and belief that they know what is best for those around them, and what is acceptable behavior according to them.
They have a severe problem with anger; “the angry temperament”. Cholerics have a tendency to seldom express other emotions such as love, tenderness, warmth and compassion. This is often offset with a secondary temperament.
When other people express these emotions they consider them as unnecessary and useless.
Cholerics believe that no one else can carry out a task as well as them. They have a tendency to overwork themselves, and are prone to burnout. When carrying out various tasks to accomplish goals they are capable of undertaking any behavior necessary to get it done.
Unlike the Melancholy, who is capable of seeing the pitfalls of a project before taking action, Cholerics refuse to see any pitfalls. The Choleric will forge ahead regardless of the cost, the end justifies the means.
The Choleric is extremely self-centered and the needs of others do not matter. They are perfectionistic and even their own flaws are flawless. When they are wrong they will not accept it, their’s is the only way that is correct and matters. Yet, when the Choleric is brought under the authority of Jesus Christ, greatness can be accomplished for the Kingdom of God.
All temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. I will teach you how to turn a weakness into a strength!
Melancholies need to learn to communicate their feelings; emotionally they are very protective and guarded. The way that a Melancholy demonstrates or says that they love someone is by being dependable and responsible not in physical or verbal terms necessarily. Because of their intellectual and analytical energies they can see the end results of a project before moving forward.
Melancholies have a very sensitive emotional nature; feelings dominate their being. Sometimes moods will lift them to extreme highs; at other times they will be gloomy and depressed. The secondary temperament will often help balance this out. Unsocial by nature, meeting new people is difficult and social activities are draining.
Melancholies when rising to their strengths, and once these strengths are brought under God, the Melancholy is capable of great and wonderful things. When Melancholies sink to their weaknesses they become destructive to themselves and those close to them.
All temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. I will teach you how to change your weakness to a strength.
The pure Melancholy for example is an introvert and a loner. Melancholies are more task oriented as opposed to relationship-oriented. Melancholies tend to be perfectionists and set unreasonable standards and goals for themselves and the people around them.
Melancholies are very loyal people: to their family and friends. If they make a promise the Melancholy will keep it. Melancholies are very creative people, but are prone to deep depression. They are very private people, as well as very serious. Very faithful, a loyal friend and self-sacrificing. Their feelings run deep and tender (even though they lack the ability to express these feelings). They easily empathize with others and have the ability to make very deep commitments.
They are self-motivated, and do not respond to the promise of reward nor the threat of punishment. Often they are not satisfied with only one chance at something because they feel they could always do better. They tend to take a more realistic viewpoint. A Melancholy knows their limitations and they rarely take on more than they can do.
If you are Supine you probably have many interests and cares, but little ability or need to express your needs. One Supine remarked that to be a Supine "felt like having tape over his mouth." They often have a wish or desire, but are unable or unwilling to express it. The Supine often wish that others could "read their minds." If others have ever observed that you are too sensitive or easily offended, you may very well have a Supine temperament. Slow-paced and diligent, Supines are not indifferent or uncaring about life. Quite the opposite, they may have the strong feeling of the Sanguine but simply be unwilling to express themselves.
The Supine have a view of the world that makes them consider others to be superior to themselves. They frequently employ themselves in positions that permit them to be servants to others. They will dutifully work to please others, who they see as better than themselves.
All temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. I will teach you how to turn your weakness into a strength.
Perhaps the best way to describe the Supine is that it seems to be a combination of the Sanguine and the Melancholy. The Melancholy expresses little need for and, as a true introvert; they tend to shy away from social contact. A Supine does not express much need for much social contact either; however their need is VERY great! Like the Sanguine, they have a great need for social relationships. They look like they don’t want it but effectively hide their needs and expect you to read their mind. And if you fail to correctly read their mind, they will be “hurt.”
A great capacity for service, liking people, and the desire to serve others. They possess an inborn gentle spirit. As youngsters, they are often tormented and abused by other children. They are typically slow to fight back. Instead they tend to internalize their anger and hurt, actually believing they deserve the treatment they receive.
The ability to respond to love and to open up emotionally when they feel emotionally “safe.” If treated properly, they are capable of absolute and total commitment to deep personal relationships. However, if a Supine actually feels safe in a close, personal relationship, they can respond and return expressions of caring. They can become intensely loyal, producing absolute, complete faithfulness. No temperament is more prone to this kind of intense loyalty.
The Sanguine is a very social person who likes to be with people. Of all the temperaments, the Sanguine is the easiest to be around socially. They are known as outgoing, handshaking, and touching person. They bring life and energy into a room by their very presence. Their cheerfulness and humor brighten everyone’s life. They are an optimistic type of person who believes life is an exciting and fun-filled experience that should be lived to the fullest. Inactivity causes them stress because the pace at which they like to live their lives is fast and furious.
The Sanguine is the most impulsive of all the temperaments.
The Sanguine excels in communication-oriented things, but they do not relate well to tasks. They are the least disciplined and organized of all the temperaments. While they are outgoing, enthusiastic, warm, compassionate, and seem to relate well to other people’s feelings, they can be rude and uncaring. They tend not to be faithful nor loyal friends, since they do not want to be “burdened down” with commitments; they just want to have fun. They live as though they have no past or future, the Sanguine rarely learns from their past mistakes. They are prone to exaggerate. They never recognize their failures, but exaggerate to make themselves appear to be more successful than they truly are. The Sanguine’s major weakness is that they adopt severe and destructive behavior.
However, when a Sanguine turns their life over to God daily, He helps tame down the impulsive and compulsive Sanguine behavior.
All temperaments have strengths and weaknesses. I teach you how to turn your weakness into a Strength!
A couple who is aware of the predictors of divorce and the predictors of a lasting marriage will have more ability to combat against what works against them with what they have going for them in their favor. Being aware of your marriage health will help you design a Love plan of Action that you are living your dream marriage.
Research indicates that a “Hollywood Romantic” like marriage is fantasy and does not contain the necessary “glue” that holds a marriage together. But, marriage based on love and respect and godly principles has the “stick together” factor. Research shows that unhappy periods in a marriage are not indicative of future unhappiness. In fact, one study showed that 86% of unhappily married couples who stayed with their marriage were happier five years later--three fifths of whom were "quite" or "very happy."
Reasons Couples Stay Together
1. You want to.
2. You feel you ought to.
3. You have to.
It's not love and luck. Couples stay together when applying commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified married “team” against whatever challenges life hands you.
Married “team” partners may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team--not on their individual success.
Who has the Power in your Marriage?
1. The Man
2. The Woman
3. The One who pays the bills.
4. The One who loves the most.
That person has the power to turn a relationship around or run it into the ground. And that person usually never realizes how much power he/she wields until it is too late.
That person is YOU.
You have the choice to either react to the situation you're in (by complaining about your marriage, allowing yourself to be swamped by negative emotions, or feeling out of control), or to take responsibility and choose your actions. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can hurt you without your consent."
Even if you cannot change your partner's behavior, you can choose how you respond to that behavior. You can internalize the blame, the hurt, and the criticism, or you can take responsibility for your own feelings and choose to act the way you want to feel. Think again about that last concept. You should act the way you want to feel. If you want to feel more loving towards your spouse, act more loving. If you want to feel happier in your marriage, smile more and express gratitude for the good things in your marriage.
It's one of the strangest aspects of human psychology that the more you act the way you want to feel (thankful, peaceful, loving, affectionate, etc.) the more you will begin to feel that way.
Happiness in Marriage greatly depends on our knowing our own selves and also understanding our spouse. Your Love DNA assessment will help you get all the facts about your needs and wants, strengths and weaknesses. You will finally understand why you do what you do. Your spouse will want to also take the Love DNA test for optimal marital understanding.
Call Mama Love Coach Debbie (770-307-7759) or email email@example.com to have access for discovering your Love DNA
Everyone has this HUGE desire: TO HAVE OUR NEEDS MET. You and your spouse have this mutual desire. Your relationship survival depends on your needs being met. Your relationship has a better chance of being long and happy when you and your spouse feels loved, wanted and appreciated. One of the biggest reasons relationships do not work is the spouses do not even know what needs the other has. Sexual needs are easy to spot. Basic needs like food, clothing, water, oxygen, and shelter are obvious. I am talking about emotional needs that are not usually discussed and are usually not even realized It is very important for your emotional health and for your marriage to have those relationship needs met. Meeting needs is a way to stay happy and stay together.
The best way to get your needs met in the marriage is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. Have you ever tried reading your spouses mind? Not much luck in that and if you try to second guess, you can spend a lot of time and energy failing. You can't read minds, and you should not expect your spouse to be able to ready minds either. Both partners in the marriage should take this seriously and learn more about each other's needs.
Needs are human. Needs should not be considered weaknesses. Look at it this way. Having your needs met enables you to become who you were destined to be. If you did not have basic needs like shelter, food and water, you could not better yourself. You most likely could not even earn a living. Your emotional needs are just as important.
SOME NEEDS IDENTIFIED: (just a sampling)
CONNECTION: ACCEPTANCE, CLOSENESS, APPRECIATION, COMMUNICATION, EMPATHY, TRUST, TO BE UNDERSTOOD, ETC.
MEANING: GROWTH, CONSCIOUSNESS, CLARITY, TO MATTER, DISCOVER, PURPOSE, ETC.
HONESTY: AUTHENTICITY, PEACE, HONOR, ETC.
PLAY: JOY, HUMOR
AUTONOMY: CHOICE, FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE
Have you ever thought about some of the above needs in your own life? Did it occur to you that your spouse and even your children have needs other than the basic survival needs?
The secret is stepping out of your own wants and needs long enough to lean what your mate needs.
Sometimes, simply having the conversation about your needs can strengthen the relationship and will make it a lot easier for you to keep each other happy. Even if you are uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.
Always remember we can only change ourselves. We can not change our spouses. I recommend prayer; it works and it also gives us the grace to continue to be committed to our marriages. Love in marriage is not a noun, it is an action verb. We will either stop loving our spouses or we will continue to love them.
With my coaching tools, you will no longer need to second guess or try to figure out what you spouse needs. You and your spouse can know for a fact what your temperament needs are.
THE MOST ACCURATE TEMPERAMENT TEST AVAILABLE AS A PART OF THE HAPPY MARRIAGE PROGRAMS OR YOU CAN PURCHASE SEPARATELY HERE: 97% Accurate Test
Do this for You, for your Spouse and for Your Marriage.
For ways to be more feminine check out: http://lovecoachdebbie.com
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.