I love you.
If I love you I must tell you truth.
I want your love.
I want your truth.
Love me enough to tell me the truth.
The author of the book "Caring Enough to Confront" has penned a great word with creatively working through conflict--"care-fronting"
We feel warm and comforted with the word CARE and yet feel that the word CONFRONT is mean. But I agree with the author that both words provide the balance of love and power for leading effective human relationships.
Many times the common thing is to keep care and confront distant and separate. But changing our mindsets around confrontation can actually fuel us with courage and integrity. You know how it feels to want to say the truth, but you may hold back out of fear. Any fear that is present in your relationship takes up space and love suffocates. Feel the fear when you want to confront, but hold back. Sometimes there is no other way to really be truthful with care-fronting.
Notice the options that arise when conflict is present:
"I'll get him."
"I'll get out."
"I'll give in."
"I'll meet you halfway."
"I care enough to confront."
Basic options yet how often we don't choose the one that will bring truth and honesty.
I help couples learn how to find their truth and walk in the truth with love. We practice caring and confronting with respect for each other's feelings and understandings.
Here is an action step you can try when faced with confrontation.
Visualize your partner having his or her ideas about the issue and not having a problem with YOU. Be a listener and ask questions that show you are listening. Ask for their solutions. Be sure to look at your partner in such a way it appears you are saying "Tell me more."
This step will help change your mindset around confrontations. Changing our mindsets is the first step in many for working out relationship issues.
Please share with your friends and family my article...and try reading David Augsburger's helpful book.
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.