Many people use the search engines looking for ways to bring intimacy in their Christian marriages. I hear complaints of those men and women who claim that they have lost that “loving feeling” for their spouse. They love their spouse, but are not in love with their spouse. They long for that exciting and romantic love that all new lovers experience when first dating and falling in love. It is so natural to desire that feeling. Falling in love feels very good in so many ways. Remember how you got excited about going out on a date with your date; how every dress or shirt you tried on had to make you look like dynamite and knock his/her socks off? If you were like me you probably didn’t eat for days because you were so high in love.
That kind of “loving feeling” is very powerful. This kind of feeling/emotion is desirable and many so longing want to get back to those days of yesterday when their love was new and exciting. Many times the distractions in life can force our marriages to be second, third or even worse-last place in our lives. These distractions can cause many marriages to end in divorce. If couple does not divorce they may coexist for years longing for happiness and fulfillment. This does not have to be this way!
Each spouse could start with themselves by taking a hard look at how they are presenting love. A spouse can start improving the marriage by NOT doing these things:
1. Do you look desirable or do you hang out in your old t-shirt-unshaven? Would it hurt her to kiss your check with all that stubble?
2. Do you both go to bed at different times? How in the world do you connect sexually, then?
3. Are you exercising regularly? A fit body is very attractive.
4. Do you think it is not practical to ask her out for dinner or a date, after all she is just your wife?
5. When was the last time you made your spouse feel special?
Just changing yourself a little will improve your marriage in a huge way.
Note to Men: Women notice the little things their men do that improves. She is actually waiting for your to come around and love her again. Don't throw your marriage away. Move toward your lover and don't give up. Love can bloom again!
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.