Ever felt like your marriage was out of sorts. Sometimes feel as if you are finished trying to make the marriage work? Want to desperately get the love back? Then you're going to have to use a strategy that will help you get your marriage back and not cause your spouse to head for the hills!
Firstly remember that just because you want your marriage to work, your spouse may not want to work at it. If you've broken up before and your relationship has become a breakup/makeup merry go round, pretty soon one or both of you will want to one day get off that particular ride for good. So, there is a chance that they might have reached this point, no matter what you now feel and want.
Secondly to get your marriage back on track you're really going to have to look at the relationship as a whole, not just the parts you're comfortable looking at, because only then can you begin to find out what's causing the problems.
If you need outside third party help to scrutinize your relationship, then it's always worthwhile getting that help. If you have good and honest friends who will tell you what you need to hear, as opposed to what you want to hear, then talk to them.
You should also understand that to pull this off you're going to have to stop acting on whim and emotion and start working a well thought out proven plan. This is probably the most crucial step you will need to take, so get yourself under control. Sit down and plan to do whatever it takes to stop running around making things worse – stop calling them, texting them and trying to force they to see you because begging and pleading won't work.
Instead, occupy yourself by getting healthy, meet new people, take a class, and get fit, whatever it takes to help you re-focus and approach the whole situation from a point of clarity and calmness, is what you need to do.
Especially take the time to look at why you want to keep the marriage, because to be honest, too many people find themselves trying to fix certain areas of their marriage and still haven’t taken the time to be honest with themselves or their spouse. So, just because you want to make your marriage better, try asking yourself what you value and cherish in your marriage. Take a good look at what you expect and what you need in your marriage.
If you've come to the conclusion that working to improve your marriage is the right move for you, then once you have yourself under control and you've thought things through, then your next move is to call and talk to your spouse.
Understand that they may very well need more time before they are ready to speak to you never mind, entertain the idea of rekindling your relationship. Your goal, if this happens, is not to force the situation. Instead, tell your spouse that you understand completely and then tell them you will give them more time to think things through. Leave it at that and continue living your life and keeping yourself busy.
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.