1 Corinthians 7:28 "Nevertheless such shall have trouble."
Have you ever thought you had more than your share of troubles and marriage problems? I thought I would never have problems. (Friends I was wrong!) Two people in a close-knit relationship day in and day out are bound to suffer misunderstandings and not to mention difficult days.
Some marriage are so difficult that divorce is often the only answer to getting back to sanity.
But if you are like most Christians you have been taught that divorce is not an option--what, do you do? Misery seems to be the only outlet? Is misery your only option? Nothing is working. No matter what you say or do, he/she doesn't get it! You feel like giving up on your marriage?
I never thought that my marriage would be in the difficult category. I did all the right stuff. I prayed, I obeyed, I forgave, and more because I thought that was what made a happy marriage. No one told me my marriage journey would be so tough. Can you feel my pain? I feel yours.
I would go to bed, get up the next morning in disbelief and despair. My marriage had come to this...ugly misery?
The real disturbance was what this marriage was doing to my heart. Do you see the pollution of bitterness or hardening smugness you have toward your spouse? Are you lonely and empty allowing yourself to be drawn to someone else. Lousy marriage and a blackened heart.
I, along with many Christian psychologists believe in a tough, often unpopular ideal for couples struggling in difficult marriage--(unless there is a pattern of abuse or unchanging immorality)--the answer is No divorce.
The absolute reality is that some spouses never change and some marriages don't get better. I don't recommend you give up, but you don't want to keep banging your head against a brick wall. The key is seeing your marriage for what it is as tough and unlikely to improve. And the other reality is if you aren't wise and find help it could destroy your mind and heart.
The beginning of wisdom lies here in the ability to "thrive". It is possible to live well even if your marriage remains difficult and your spouse never changes. The key is your well-being. Difficult marriages are not necessarily marriage made in hell. Difficult marriages can simple be just two different people who don't understand each other. The Bible tells us to get understanding and better yet get wisdom. Gather together with me and let's work on bring wisdom to your marriage.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org. I have created a private group for those in difficult marriage. Contact me and together, let's explore what to do to "thrive" in a difficult marriage.
Coach Debbie Kessler
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.