In today's world and with our busy life we are accustomed to push button gratification. We want what we want when we want it. I know you hear what I am saying. Many times we have wanted our men to be more and give more. We have prayed for it, waited for it, but sometimes it feels like it will never happen. Girls, only God knows what is going on in your man's heart. Only God knows what is missing or dysfunctional and trust me He is the only one who change or fix that man. But, instead of our concentrating on our man's unwillingness to open up or be what we want let's take this post to a different level. Follow with me as we look at this whole situation you are in as a matter of spirituality.
Humor me. Will ya?
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
Satan is out to destroy your marriage. One of the ways he does that is by messing with your mind. He wants you to doubt and lust and dream after a man in your fantasy. The man you married was your Knight in Shining when you married him. He was your fantasy. But we must get our heads out of the clouds and realize we are married to another human being. Your man is blood, sweat and tears just as you are. He was fears, dreams, and expectations just as you do. Have you considered being his helpmate instead of his little princess he has to save? You must get a hold of your thought life and get real. A real enemy is going to destroy your marriage. If you are so unhappy, then why not find ways to be happy and become the woman your man needs you to be? Don't let satan destroy your marriage. Fight back! Gird up the your lions with truth and righteousness and fight this battle. God will come to your side and help you.
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Philippians 4:6-7
Do you know that God will not give you the power to change your man. But He will give you the power to change yourself? You are the only one who change in this marriage---YOU. It is not impossible. But you must ask God.."what do I need to do with me? And then wait and trust God to do what is needed in your man. I don't mean put your head in the sand. I mean you work on YOU. Tell God about your husband and tell God you trust Him with your man. Get with the God program!
The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. Proverbs 21:1 Your man, your king.--You made him your king. You made him your Knight in shining. You took him as if he was going make all your dreams come true. Realize that your king, your man's heart is in the hand of the Lord. The Lord will direct him, but you must get out-of-the-way! You have to come to the point that your will must not be done, but that of the Lord. Let the Lord have His way. GET OUT of the WAY!
What a man desires is unfailing love. Proverbs 19:22
Every man, Every woman desires unfailing love. Can you give unfailing love? Let me tell you my version of unfailing love...when you are able to die to self and let God have his way in your marriage, you are giving unfailing love. You trust God so much, you are able to stop trying to control your husband and you start trusting God to meet your needs especially when your knight or your king is failing you so...Only you can do your part. You can not make another person do their part. Get into the river of love and let love overflow into your marriage.
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36 Do I need to say anymore? I didn't think so. :)
And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. 1 John 3:22 One of the secrets I learned in my marriage was to love him as if he (my knight) was Jesus. I loved him as unto the Lord. That is a way to be pleasing to God. To love others...oh that is a great command.
I pray that you will take these verses and prayerfully seek God's wisdom for your marriage. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for more conversations or questions about how to improve your marriage.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.