Everyone has this HUGE desire: TO HAVE OUR NEEDS MET. You and your spouse have this mutual desire. Your relationship survival depends on your needs being met. Your relationship has a better chance of being long and happy when you and your spouse feels loved, wanted and appreciated. One of the biggest reasons relationships do not work is the spouses do not even know what needs the other has. Sexual needs are easy to spot. Basic needs like food, clothing, water, oxygen, and shelter are obvious. I am talking about emotional needs that are not usually discussed and are usually not even realized It is very important for your emotional health and for your marriage to have those relationship needs met. Meeting needs is a way to stay happy and stay together.
The best way to get your needs met in the marriage is by making sure the other person knows just what those needs are. Have you ever tried reading your spouses mind? Not much luck in that and if you try to second guess, you can spend a lot of time and energy failing. You can't read minds, and you should not expect your spouse to be able to ready minds either. Both partners in the marriage should take this seriously and learn more about each other's needs.
Needs are human. Needs should not be considered weaknesses. Look at it this way. Having your needs met enables you to become who you were destined to be. If you did not have basic needs like shelter, food and water, you could not better yourself. You most likely could not even earn a living. Your emotional needs are just as important.
SOME NEEDS IDENTIFIED: (just a sampling)
CONNECTION: ACCEPTANCE, CLOSENESS, APPRECIATION, COMMUNICATION, EMPATHY, TRUST, TO BE UNDERSTOOD, ETC.
MEANING: GROWTH, CONSCIOUSNESS, CLARITY, TO MATTER, DISCOVER, PURPOSE, ETC.
HONESTY: AUTHENTICITY, PEACE, HONOR, ETC.
PLAY: JOY, HUMOR
AUTONOMY: CHOICE, FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE
Have you ever thought about some of the above needs in your own life? Did it occur to you that your spouse and even your children have needs other than the basic survival needs?
The secret is stepping out of your own wants and needs long enough to lean what your mate needs.
Sometimes, simply having the conversation about your needs can strengthen the relationship and will make it a lot easier for you to keep each other happy. Even if you are uncomfortable having such a frank discussion, you should do it anyway. Telling each other your needs is better than hinting or expecting them to be psychic.
Always remember we can only change ourselves. We can not change our spouses. I recommend prayer; it works and it also gives us the grace to continue to be committed to our marriages. Love in marriage is not a noun, it is an action verb. We will either stop loving our spouses or we will continue to love them.
With my coaching tools, you will no longer need to second guess or try to figure out what you spouse needs. You and your spouse can know for a fact what your temperament needs are.
THE MOST ACCURATE TEMPERAMENT TEST AVAILABLE AS A PART OF THE HAPPY MARRIAGE PROGRAMS OR YOU CAN PURCHASE SEPARATELY HERE: 97% Accurate Test
Do this for You, for your Spouse and for Your Marriage.
For ways to be more feminine check out: http://lovecoachdebbie.com
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.