If you are woman who finds herself in a difficult marriage you may have asked yourself these types of questions:
Q: "Everybody tells me I am supposes to hang in there and believe
that if I trust and do what I should, my marriage is going to turn
around. I want to SCREAM, "You don't understand! Nothing helps. Why should I keep trying?"
Coach Debbie's answer: A lot of people think it is ok to give up.
And sooner or later a spouse will decide to get out because the fighting, game playing, or emotional loneliness has destroyed their relationship. You think why not get out while I still have some dignity left. Or you think you can stay married but live distant lives. Either choice, the marriage is over.
Some stay in destructive marriages and fight it out with each other, feeling like they are
trapped in a cage fight, scratching and clawing until neither is left standing. They may not divorce, but the marriage appears to have only have passionate fighting and conflict.
Unless there is abuse, I believe couple's should not give up hope. But believe me, I understand that you also don't want to keep banging you head against a brick wall. (that is emotionally bloody).
Here are words of life for you who experience a marriage of difficulty:
There may come a time when you accept that wall in your marriage and decide you don't have to tear it down. It is a tough marriage and it is possible it won't improve, but, if you aren't wise, it could destroy YOU.
The Only way to survive a difficult marriage is to learn how to THRIVE and live well even if your marriage remains difficult and your spouse never changes. You will have to learn ways to face and deal with the difficulties so that you can have a life of meaning and contentment
even if your marriage remains painful.
We all live in an imperfect world, with imperfect spouses. In this group we are going to learn how to live at peace and bring emotional happiness into even a difficult marriage. Are you willing to try?
Start by looking into your heart and believing your "YES" is the start of your faith for your marriage. Then give yourself permission to say, "This is how my marriage is. It is difficult that is true. It may never be what I expected it to be. I do not want to live my life disappointed, shameful or feel inferior because I can't resolve the difficulties of this imperfect marriage. I can become equipped to thrive despite the lack of hope in my marriage. In Jesus name."
If you made that commitment to THRIVE shoot me an email at email@example.com. Let me personally pray for you.
Lots of Love,
Coach Debbie Kessler, M.Min, CME
Debbie Kessler loves her husband, Wally Kessler. She is a southern girl who loves Jesus and loves building up people to do Good Works of Love.